Childhood Trauma and Recovery
Mary Walsh & Neil Thompson.
Childhood trauma and recovery is a complex restoration that is crucial after any kind of sexual assault in childhood. Any kind of sexual interaction with children, whether it is wrapped up in religion or as ritual, satanic cult covered or whatever the abusers or media choose to call it. It is still child abuse, sadistic sexual assault and nothing more than an excuse for grown men and sometimes women, to get their kicks from having sex with children. In fact, it seems, the more power they are able to exert over innocent children, the more terror they can instil, the better they like it. The children on the other hand, have no choice, no say and no voice at all. The repercussions for those affected stay with them throughout their lives, triggered by almost anything in their day to day existence.
Any kind of sexual interaction with children, whether it is wrapped up in religion or as ritual, satanic cult covered or whatever the abusers or media choose to call it. It is still child abuse, sadistic sexual assault and nothing more than an excuse for grown men and sometimes women, to get their kicks from having sex with children. In fact, it seems, the more power they are able to exert over innocent children, the more terror they can instil, the better they like it. The children on the other hand, have no choice, no say and no voice at all. The repercussions for those affected stay with them throughout their lives, triggered by almost anything in their day to day existence.
Voice of Victims:
It was the end of my life as I knew it and the start of a nightmare that I felt I may never wake up from. The abuser walks free, and me, well, I have to live every day with the memory of what he did to me. Judgments, questions, non-believers and being injured over and over again by people’s inability to understand the depth of this horror. Not enough evidence they said – my mental health and the cost to the NHS since, isn’t that evidence enough. Niamh │Co Galway
Childhood sexual assault and continued abuse scars you for life, but on the inside, where no one can see. On the outside, no one would know or understand your pain, you are left like a broken jigsaw, trying to make sense of the pieces that you are left with. To somehow put them back together in an order that feels okay to bear and to live with. It is a sadness so deep within. Leaving a victim forever vulnerable, like an open sore that won’t heal. Georgina │Coventry
For me, the simplest way to define the abuse that happened to me as a child, would be to describe it as a vicious assault on every sense, leaving deep, vivid scarring to both mind and body. The sight of the abuser, a face that will be forever imprinted on my mind. The sound of my own voice, pleading for it to stop, begging to be left alive. The taste and smell of him, which clings for days, even weeks. Even now, no matter how many times I scrub myself to try and make it go away – I still feel violated. The feel of my own small body being used, abused, damaged and violated in the most painful and degrading way. Peter│London
For us as adults to thrive and prosper, we need to have choices in our lives. We can choose to build our own prisons for which we always hold the key, emotionally, physically, financially or in the commitments that we make to others.
When any form of sexual abuse takes place in childhood, the effects can limit choices later in life, as the confidence in those who are expected to trust and care for us, slowly ebbs away. This can and often result in a person’s foundation and structure, becoming completely undermined and unstable, as if the abuser eternally holds the key.
What makes this worse is that when childhood sexual abuse is perpetrated by a sibling, it’s a secret too dark, too distressing and too shameful to contemplate exposing, which is why it’s often disclosed much later on in life, if atall.
Unfortunately not all adults affected by childhood sibling sexual abuse have much support later in life and the consequences of such trauma can manifest in many different ways. As well as all the other consequences, the ultimate cost is the devastating effects it often has within adult intimate relationships. The effects of sexual abuse in childhood, whether the perpetrator is a parent, sibling, auntie, uncle, extended family member, neighbour, a friend of the family or a complete stranger, are devastatingly shocking to the person affected. Any sexual violation of a childhood can be like a fiery dart, stinging, wounding and leaving the child with extreme unspent emotion. Unspent because childhood victims do not have the capacity to externalise their pain and do so by turning in on their self (inward). Shutting down, is a child’s normal response mechanism to danger, in order to keep safe andsurvive.
When parents or siblings use their younger family members to gratify themselves by sexually exerting power and control, life for the victim stands still, floating, walking through an invisible journey of blackened tar, unreal, unspoken and every corner of life shrouded in silence, secrecy and shame. This ranges from the blatant crossing of a child’s sexual boundary by mothers, sisters and female relations, often veiled under age-inappropriate bathing and medical application regimes as well as constant humiliation, psychological and bullying behaviours to fathers, brothers, uncles passing their daughters, sons, sisters and nieces to each other like broken rag dolls.
One might be forgiven for thinking that a person who has endured such profound trauma may never get over it. The good news is that people can and they do, with the right help, the right intervention for healing and recovery, people do recover from the perverse acts that others perpetrate upon them, and they are able to maintain good healthyfutures.
This excellent and articulately penned publication ‘Childhood Trauma and Recovery’ showcases the best and most effective interventions, to assist those affected by sexual assault and abuse in childhood. In its entirety, this book focuses on children and assuring safety, trust and truthful communication which in itself, is restorative and works towards post traumatic growth and further healing.
A Child-Centred Approach to Healing Early Years Abuse
Sue J Daniels
MBACP & UKRC (Snr Accred)
EMDR Accredited Practitioner
Professional Counsellor &